12 Rules for Life

When I speak about standing up straight with your shoulders back, I am not giving a superficial guideline about posture. I am speaking about a fundamental biological and psychological truth. In nature, dominance hierarchies are millions of years old. Lobsters, those ancient crustaceans, establish order through posture and conflict—the victorious lobster holds himself tall; the defeated one collapses. This isn’t mere animal behavior; it’s a physical manifestation of confidence and vulnerability.

Human beings operate through similar laws. When we slump, we communicate defeat to others and to ourselves. Our neurochemistry responds accordingly—low serotonin, fragile confidence, an endless loop of loss. But when we stand upright, we tell the world and our own nervous system: I am prepared. I acknowledge suffering, but I choose to face it. Such posture is both physical and moral. It’s the stance of someone who recognizes that life is hard yet refuses to surrender.

You might see this rule as deceptively simple. Yet as I’ve witnessed in countless patients, the act of standing tall transforms internal states. It marks the first step toward self-respect. People respond differently to courage—they offer trust, cooperation, new opportunities. A straight back isn’t arrogance; it’s the embodied declaration of readiness for responsibility. The world is structured by hierarchies not to oppress us but to protect us from chaos. To act with dignity within that structure is to begin to master life itself.

Many of us care more for our pets than for ourselves. We give them medicine, food, and affection, yet we neglect our own wellbeing. I asked myself why human beings do this, and the answer lies deep within our moral and psychological makeup. We know our flaws intimately; we see our failures and judge them relentlessly. It’s easier to care for others because they seem innocent compared to ourselves.

But there’s another way to look. The biblical commandment—‘Love your neighbor as yourself’—contains a vital presupposition: you must first know how to love yourself. To treat yourself as someone you are responsible for helping means acknowledging your own fragility and potential, neither idealizing nor condemning your nature. It means acting as your own guardian, recognizing that your life matters not only to you but to the world.

In clinical practice, I’ve seen how self-disrespect breeds resentment, addiction, and despair. But when people begin to value themselves as worthy beings—as souls entrusted with moral responsibility—their lives transform. They start to make decisions that honor their best possibilities. Self-care, then, isn’t indulgence; it’s moral duty. You have to act as if you are someone worth saving, because you are. You are the only being who can bring your unique order into the world’s chaos.

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